


Subtext

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Discord - Freeform, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben seeks reassurance from Poe — and deals with his feelings for him.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Subtext

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Free Space — Metafiction
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Writing for John Doe and Randy wasn’t easy. Ben knew that. It had started out as a small group, with friends and the occasional family member in Rey’s case. Poe has helped Ben a lot, being one of his first reviewers and one of his first (if not his very first) fandom friends. Still, Ben appreciated the company. The company, and the ship itself. Even though it wasn’t very popular, Ben loved it (and Sam/Kira) all the same.   
  
There were times, admittedly, when Ben wondered if his stories were any good. After all, it wasn’t like they got much attention, or kudos on AO3. There were times when he couldn’t help but wonder, _If you’re so brilliant and good at writing, Ben, why are your kudos in the single digits range at best?_  
  
It was something where he couldn’t help but feel it gnaw at him. Maybe he wasn’t very good. Then again, he had his own style and he was sticking to it. It really was the best he could do, in the end. Find his style, stick to it. It was that or just follow the crowd.   
  
Ben didn’t know if he was good at that.   
  
***  
  
It was lying on his bed in the old room in his house (Ben knew he should move out by now, being eighteen, but he didn’t know if he was really ready yet. Truly) that Ben logged into Discord DMs to talk with Poe. _HotDamneron,_ he called himself on Discord. Ben couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. The truth was that Poe seemed to have unlimited faith in him. Probably because that’s how Poe was with just about everyone. You could probably count the people Poe genuinely disliked on one hand.   
  
_Hi,_ Ben typed. _How are you doing?_  
  
After a while, a reply from Poe. _The usual. Working on my nonsense._  
  
Ben smiled. _I think your “nonsense” is wonderful._  
  
 _Hope so, 😉_ Poe typed. _I mean, I work hard on my nonsense. 😁_  
  
Ben chuckled to himself. Then, despite himself, he typed, _Poe...what do you think of my work?_  
  
Silence.   
  
Poe typed back. _It’s good, Ben. Really good. Are you okay?_  
  
 _One of those low kudos days,_ Ben typed. _Like Kira scavenging for portions._  
  
Fine, maybe he was being hyperbolic.   
  
_That’s too bad,_ Poe typed. _For what it’s worth...I think you’ve got a lot of skill. It’s not the fact that we’re bad writers. It’s the fact we’re writing in a fandom that overlooks certain ships. Like most fandoms do, to be fair._  
  
That was true.   
  
Poe typed more. _You can count on the fact that I am and always will be a fan of yours. On more than one level. 😉_  
  
Of course, Ben thought, smiling.   
  
_Thanks,_ Ben typed. Then, _You have so much faith in me, don’t you? Even when I don’t have it in myself._  
  
 _Of course I do,_ Poe typed. _You’re my friend. My best friend. My partner in crime. 😊_  
  
There was something about it that sent a pleasant sort of flutter in Ben’s chest. God, what was that like? To start having feelings, strong feelings, for a man that you mostly watched MST3K with on Netflix and such?  
  
 _Thanks._ Ben typed.   
  
Poe typed back, _No problem._  
  
***  
  
The thing about John Doe was that Poe was a good inspiration for various depictions of him. Not necessarily appearance-wise (completely), but they were similar in personality. Charismatic. Kind. Witty. Loyal. Honorable. Ben paused even thinking about it; was that usually how you thought about your best friend in fandom?   
  
Ben didn’t know. He knew that telling Poe the truth was a lot like dropping a bomb. Something that could potentially destroy everything. How did he even know Poe was...compatible, orientation-wise? Did that failed attempt to date Zorii mean anything...  
  
Ben sighed. He couldn’t tell Poe. Not until he was ready. But he could at least transfer some of his feelings to Randy. Canonically a villain, here Ben could explore the roads not taken.   
  
He typed into Google Docs. Typed descriptions waxing poetic about John’s smile, his eyes. He’d tell Poe. When he was ready. For now...writing would have to do.


End file.
